I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
