Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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