Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
