k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize