yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
