I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize