Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
