its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
