cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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