Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
