Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
ttyl tear gas
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
