dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
