My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
