Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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