I don't remember. Are we still dating?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
