I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
