Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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