It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
