Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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