8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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