Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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