the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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