I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
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Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize