WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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