THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
