if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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