I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I FOUND THE LEGS
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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