Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
