I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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