Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize