Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize