Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
