I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize