Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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