wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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