I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
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