y did u give ur computer a hand job?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
