please come you make the beer taste better
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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