Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
