My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
