On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
