jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
