you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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