I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
oh god the rape fog is back!
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
