i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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