There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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