Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
