I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish i was in the wii world.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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