Kiss
Puke
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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