We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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