I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
