somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
