it wasn't lemon gatorade
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My vagina is very pro this idea
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
