Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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