He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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