He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
