I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
