All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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