I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
