Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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